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THE SACREDNESS OF MARRIAGE

EXODUS 20:14

“You shall not commit adultery”. It is interesting to note that immediately following on from the commandment which declares the sacredness of human life comes the one that declares the sacredness of marriage. The divine sequence of this Ten Commandments given by God after the children of Israel’s deliverance from Egypt. The first group is about our relationship as human to God. The second is about our relationship with each other as human. Within this second grouping, the relationship between man and wife is the type and origin of all subsequent relationships. Nothing can be more essential for the social order than the relationship upon which all subsequent ones are built. Every nation, family and couple that believes the marriage relationship may be disrupted with impunity is sowing the seeds of its own destruction. Unfaithfulness is like dropping a stone in a pond. The ripples don’t just stay in the centre, they spread its effect and consequences in a devastating way. God created marriage and family, so it must be honoured for His sake. This commandment says in effect that any form of sexual expression (by both gender) outside the bonds of marriage is a perversion (in both the most basic and the fullest sense of that term) and is prohibited.

Have we ever wonder why this issue of adultery is so sad and destructive in the sight of God? It is because it breaks the unity of the marriage vow, which is a unity designed to illustrate and express divine image. The unity and intimacy of husband and wife is not subjected to human vagary but it is intentional. For God created man in His own image, male and female He created them (Gen 1:27). Although the bible is clear that being single is God’s gift to some people (Matt 19:12 and 1 Cor 7:32), marriage between a man and a woman does reflect more fully the oneness in the relationships within Trinity. We discovered earlier that God is passionate that nothing will disrupt or dilute His essential unity. What He purpose for Himself, He also purposes for us. We are made in His image and adultery, distrust disrupts and destroys the oneness which is designed to be an expression of the divine image. We can begin to understand why God is so clear to warn us against this destructive behaviour. This commandment are directed against the damage caused by infidelity in marriage, which is the breaking of the sacred rights of the marriage bond, but its spirit emphatically warns against impurity. Once the idea is accepted that marriage reflects the unity and oneness of the divine image, then it becomes clear that pre-marital sex is not how God originally designed it to be.

God’s desire and plan for intimacy in the marriage relationship and with Himself as a reflection of the Trinitarian relationship is key to understand the importance and issues behind this commandment. However, faithfulness in marriage is nowadays under a direct philosophical and theological assault. We live in society saturated with sex. The media tells us in thousand and one ways: “you shall lust, in thought and word and deed”. Books and articles are written to support the idea that sex is always on our mind and it is normal. Therefore the violation of this commandment is widespread in our society today, in most country on this planet. But with utter dependence on God, draw from Him the grace and power we need to live life the way He wants us to, we can obey this commandment and help both us and our families flourish. Many Christian teachers major on forgiveness for those who fall into this sin, but do not spend as much time making clear the consequences. We must never stop talking about forgiveness, but neither must we stop talking about the damage caused. If only we took more time understanding the rippled effect and consequences of adultery, maybe we might not have to spend so much time helping people to find forgiveness for it. The destructive damage that arises out of violation of this commandment can never be underestimated.

CONSEQUENCES OF VIOLATION

We are experiencing a period of family and relationship breakdown and meltdown whose effects will be as catastrophic as the meltdown of the icebergs. Divorce rates are shooting globally, it become more and more common for people from every walk of life, from politicians, business leaders, celebrities, white collar workers, blue collar workers. Indeed, the scholarly articles and research of decades overwhelmingly demonstrate that children living with their married biological parents consistently have better physical, emotional and academic wellbeing. Once again, social sciences are beginning to catch up with Creator’s instructions for life and living. How grateful we are that God not only instructs us how to live, but also provides provision and help to find a way back when we lose our way. How timely it is for us to take heed of this commandment so that we can guard our relationships and families. It is very interesting to take a look at what Jesus taught concerning this commandment too. In the Gospel of Matthew 5 : 27 – 32, Jesus gave a more in-depth teaching about this commandment. He talks about this right after the previous commandment about “You shall not murder”. No iota shall by any means pass away from the law until all come to pass (Matt 5:18), Jesus meant serious business about Ten Commandments!

When Jesus restated this seventh commandment, He did it with what He did with the previous sixth commandment. He deepened it and set it in a wider perspective. Once again, He traced the act to its core and roots, which is a harboured harmful thought. Now there is a huge difference between a thought that pops into head and one that is allowed to remain there. Many married men and woman (single people too) may surprisingly find themselves momentarily caught with unhealthy thoughts concerning someone to whom they are not married. Is the thought sin? There is no hesitation in saying that at that stage it is not. It become sin when the self welcomes it, adopts it, owns it and nurtures it. At that stage the thought passes into lust and it is then that adultery is committed in the heart. A person’s inability or fearfulness to turn the desire into a deed is irrelevant to the question of morality. When someone identifies with the desire, it is then that a sin and violation of this commandment has been committed. It all happens in the mind and will. This is how Jesus shows us that this seventh commandment can be broken and violated inwardly, even if we do not commit the act of adultery.

MATTHEW 5: 27-28

In Matt 5: 29-30, The Lord even use a very strong metaphorical and extreme ways to warn us to employ necessary means to deal with our body’s members, be it our eyes or hands or essentially any other of our senses that can cause us to this dangerous lusts and desires. Jesus reminds us that in the OT this commandments looks like dealing with only outward act of adultery, but in NT actually it also deal with the inward motives of our heart. God gave capital punishment to Israelites for this sin:

a. If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. (Lev 20:10, NASB)

Apostle Paul also gave a stern warning in his letters:

a. Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. ( 1 Cor 6:9, NASB)

b. Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outburst of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God (Gal 5:19-21, NASB)

c. But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God (Eph 5:3-5, NASB).

However, for those of us that may often be tempted in this way, although Jesus carries the moral tests into the deep recesses of the soul, He also gives grace to pass them too. He throws His light into darkness within and yet He does not spurn us. He is faithful and won’t let us be tempted beyond what we can bear and will always provide a way out. Let us depend on Him and keep this commandment in our daily walk with Him, Amen.

God Bless you

KS, Holyland Specialist Team.